You might see me smiling, but what you dont see is that I am screaming behind that smile. You see me going on with everything,work, family, life, what you dont see is that it takes every ounce of energy just to breathe. You see me sitting alone with my thoughts, what you dont see is Im talking to him. You hear me say "I am fine", what you dont see is the huge hole in my heart that can never be filled. You see me and think "she's back to normal", what you dont see is that there is no normal for me anymore. You see and think " I hope this never happens to me", what you dont see is that as much as I long for you to understand me.. I hope this never happens to you either.. You see me laughing and joking with others and think, "she must be getting over what happened", what you dont see is that I can never get over this, I dont want to .. You dont get over the loss of a child. You see me sad and you dont know what to say, so you keep going, what you dont see is that all I really want is for you to ask how I am really doing and give me a hug. You see that life goes on, what you dont see is that the life I had will never be the same again.. You see that I am strong,... do not be deceived, what you dont see is that I am weak and weary.. You dont see me being unable to breathe, what you dont see is my despair. You dont see me screaming to the Heavens for God to give me back my son...